I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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