Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
