i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
