she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
