fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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