Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
