I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
