At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
