Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
this hospital has no fireball
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
