At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
