found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
