ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
