I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
