And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
