that's an acceptable place to lick
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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