Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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