We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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