Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
this hospital has no fireball
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
