is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
