I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
