In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
