Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
