We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
