You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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