Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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