every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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