He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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