so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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