Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
