can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
