i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
