ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
