she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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