Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
