Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's never too late to be topless.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
