Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
