Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
