omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Acid is not a monday night drug
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
