foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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