Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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