well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
