Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
