if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
