Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
