allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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