I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
