Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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