Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
