I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
