i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
