I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
