Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
