My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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