in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
