Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
